trail of cheerios

finale

2007-12-31T13:55:00.000-06:00

so this is the final post on this blog. if you'd like to come over to the new digs, feel free to email me or leave a comment here. i'll be keeping tabs here for a while longer, but there will be nothing new posted.

thanks for reading my rants, raves and overall vents. i hope to see you on the flip side of 2008 at the new place.

- S

if you want to know

2007-12-30T11:19:00.000-06:00

where the new digs will be, email me (see profile) or leave a comment where you can be reached.
there is a reason why I'm asking that and that will be addressed soon.

gag me

2007-12-21T13:41:00.000-06:00

Killjoy: "S, will you put fancy title next to R's name on the roster?"

Me: "yes, I will put fancy title next to freaks-out-about-every-little-thing-that-doesn't-go-her-way R's name."

gag me. R is retiring in less than a year anyway. why does it f-ing matter?! so that she can act all superior and throw around her fancy title?! I used to care, well, I admit it still bothers me that someone whose going to retire very soon should get promoted. nothing like a bit of friend nepotism here!

all I can say is that while it still bugs me, should the shit hit the fan it will hit her square in the holier-than-thou face first. she can use that fancy title to clean herself off, then.

I'm covering my ass big time and documenting all of the work I do, saving the job forms the reps give me and have set up a "cover my ass" email so that should anything come up - well, hopefully nothing will, but I hope to prepared in any case.

the ick

2007-12-21T10:40:00.000-06:00

so I started this week off sounding like Ertha Kitt ("Diamonds are Forever", anyone?) and now I sound like a prebubesent boy whose voice is cracking.
ohhh, how I love getting "the ick". and just in time for the holidays, too! how wonderful.
I guess if sounding funny is all I have to deal with, I'm ok with it. I'm just holding out hope that K and J don't get it. K already has a cough but I think that may have come from daycare as some of the kiddos there have the exact same sounding thing.

only today and monday and then I finally get my week long holiday! I've been waiting for this since last march and it's here! maybe I'll get to catch up on various projects that've been half-started for the past 6 months! hmmmm, a girl can dream...

we interrupt the migration in progress...

2007-12-18T13:08:00.001-06:00

to say thank you to mr. john rosemond for this article:

*********
this is exactly how I felt while at the famiy get together. when K had his meltdown and other family members gawked - this is the deragatory feeling that oooooozed from their stares. that he was acting up because he has some "disease" and should be medicated. no one said that out loud, but you could feel it in the air.

it's nice to know that I'm not alone in realizing that this is just the stage K is in and he doesn't need to be medicated or any of that bullshit. I'm not demeaning any child that legitimately has problems, but medicating for the sake of medicating - well that's a load of shit!

as for the line where the parents are supposed to "suffer the physical abuse" when their child hits them - oh.hell.no! no to the fucking no! oh, wait! I'm not supposed to say the word "no"! well guess what.....................................
NO!
NO!
NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!

if K is acting up, or doing something dangerous to himself or another person, he will get told "NO!". he can throw a tantrum, I don't care. I'm the mom and therefore when I put my foot down - it's the damn law and little man better step to the line and cool his britches.

I get so tired of people (DR's none the less) that say we're supposed to be our kids best friend and nurture them with cutesy sayings and let them get away with practically anything. My "job" (if you will) is to be K's parent, and if we get along great. if we bump heads and are heading in the opposite direction, it's my way that goes. no discussion. I'm a parent first, friend second.
*************
ok, this post got away from me. anyway, I'm grateful to see this article in today's paper. I'm going to go check out the satire that mr. rosemond mentioned now.

pssst - REVISED

2007-12-17T14:46:00.000-06:00

REVISED: the migration to a new place is in process. stay tuned for updates.

no worse for wear...albeit sleepy

2007-12-17T08:43:00.000-06:00

so the family get-together yesterday wasn't terrible. wasn't great, but then again I wasn't setting my expectations very high.

the nap times were off which led to a cranky little man K, but he did really well up until the last 20 minutes when he had his "i'm way to tired" meltdown. it consisted of loud crying, lower lip pouting and red face, but again it was to be expected and I didn't bat an eye at it. we did what we could and made it through.
Other than that, K did awesome. he didn't mind the extra people, the extra noise, the 2 extra kids. yeah, he did well. regarding the 2 babies, K could've cared less. it was actually really funny! cousin C was sitting behind K for a bit and C squealed at him. K turned around to see where the noise was coming from and paid it no mind! I guess you had to be there. it was like K couldn't be bothered with a baby and wanted to play with his truck!

I did notice that during his meltdown in my lap, that some of the other family members gawked at us. like they had never seen a toddler meltdown before. I did my best to ignore them and just keep speaking calmly to K to try and get him to calm down.

on the drive home (which came swiftly as K was at his wits end) I thought about how people judge you by how your kids behave. I thought about how unfair it is. I could go into all, but it'd reveal my up-teen-million neurosis and I'm not ready to go there yet. I also realized that I did the same thing until we had K. now, if I see a meltdown happening I'm just grateful it's not my kid.

anyway, it bothered me a bit by having them gawk at us. like K was some alien child. I have news for them, those 2 cute little babies who coo'd and they ahhh'd at all afternoon - they will have their day! what the gawkers failed to remember is that K is in the throes of toddlerhood. he's left the baby days way behind and is hell-bent on finding his independence and testing his boundaries.

I'm also grateful that I only have to see these people once a year!

On a lighter note, K LOVED great-grandma's organ! he caught a glimpse of it through a door way and went beserk! He could've played on it for hours! will post pictures soon.

spending $$$ on what matters

2007-12-14T13:24:00.000-06:00

this weekend, santa makes a visit at work for a photo op w/the kiddies.
next week, the powers that be at work will be having lunch catered in.
why am I bitching? the company is, after all, spending money on it's employees.
well, that is all fine and dandy.

however, how much money do you suppose they will be spending should someone (or someone's kid/family member) fall and get hurt because they were too cheap
(ie - negligent) to have the snow and multiple layers of thick ice cleared from the work parking lot?

(insert extreme sarcasm here)
it's a fucking genious tank here, let me tell you!

trains

2007-12-12T14:22:00.000-06:00

grandpa's trains are not safe anymore!

just because

2007-12-11T20:32:00.000-06:00

and...

2007-12-11T20:24:00.000-06:00

we're back! now comes the fun part of installing updates and such.

on the work front, I have an meeting tomorrow elsewhere. hopefully it turns out well.

PC grrrrrrrrr

2007-12-10T08:09:00.000-06:00

so our home PC shot craps on saturday night. J, ingenious as he is, macgyvered an old laptop to work but that turned out to be just as moody as the PC.

we went an got a new one and J worked on that most of yesterday. there may be a hard drive issue as we can't get the OS to load. whatever it is, I wish it'd make itself really fucking obvious so that we can fix it.

anyway, could you be so kind as to send de love vibes to de computer.....please!!!

one week

2007-12-08T11:30:00.000-06:00

in one week the extended family will be getting together at great grandma's home for christmas.
last year there was only K, however this year there will be two more! Aunt C & Uncle D with O along with Cousin N, Cousin D and C. (Are there enough letters for you?! Geez...)

now if you recall the last time the extended family visit occured, it was Thanksgiving last year. if you recall, this happened. please pay particular attention to #7.

so, I wonder what's going to come up this year...? I know that I'll be excluded a bit because Aunt C and Cousin D are dealing with infants still and I'm well into toddlerhood. eeehhh, I say. I do so much better with K as a toddler than a baby so I welcome it.

the burning question will be: is Cousin N's baby not crying? hmmmmmm?
(can you feel the sarcasm dripping off of that question?!)

white-out

2007-12-06T14:47:00.000-06:00

it’s snowing. a thin blanket has been draped over the roads, on top of cars, across people’s shoulders.......there is a quietness that holds hands with each snowflake. a terrible thing has happened, and while men and women search to understand, the snow falls...
and falls...
and falls...

in the recess of my mind I’d like to think the snow offers comfort. brings us in close, like a mother with child, hushing our panicked breaths and rapidly beating hearts.
in other places, I hope it serves as white-out. zero visibility of a senselessness act. much like rain washes away dirt and grime, let the snow “hide the sharp edges of reality.”

I don’t want to remember the violence here and yet I can’t avoid it. it’s like a sock clinging to the cuffs of my pants with static electricity. no matter how much I shake, rattle and roll, the damn thing just won’t go away.
“Remember, remember the 5th of my December” taunts me. I don’t want to look it in the eye and acknowledge it and yet, I must so that every hug, every kiss, every tuck into bed at night, every “I love you”……

they must be stronger and much, much…………so much more meaningful.

...........

2007-12-06T08:39:00.000-06:00

my mind is stuttering it's thoughts out, making it hard to concentrate today.
a mere 6.10 miles seperating me from

...........

like I said, my thoughts are scattered.

the drive home

2007-12-05T19:37:00.000-06:00

on my drive home, the radio stations were re-capping the events of this.

various reporters were talking with witness after witness; harrowing tales that all seem to end with "we were just doing some shopping."

I was already worked up by everything when I heard a reporter ask a witness:
"is this the last thing you'd expect to happen here?"

um....dumbshit reporter, what the fuck do you think?!
(insert extreme sarcasm here)
no, we all dream of having our days filled with running for our lives and dodging bullets while watching someone five feet away get shot! here's some advice for you, mr. reporter, don't EVER ASK THAT QUESTION AGAIN! that question only has one answer and it's pretty fucking OBVIOUS what that is: No one expects that to happen, EVER!
(end sarcasm...for now)

I was nowhere near this area, thankfully, but it's still way too close. this stuff doesn't happen here. I'm not saying that this area is crime free and perfect, but nothing has been taken to this extreme, ever.

so here we are, coping. me by blogging and distracting myself with various internet searches of whatever, J by watching SuperBad and K asleep dreaming of chasing dogs and racing cars.

toes need food too!

2007-12-05T08:30:00.000-06:00

K has been saying "biiiii-te" (bite) for some time now. it's his universal way of saying eat, drink (and be merry) to whomever and whatever.

his latest thing is to say it while shoving his cup of milk / forkful of food in wubby dog's nose, my face or his own feet (which I can only dream of being so limber).

K would having nothing of letting me get a picture of him "feeding" his toes, but I'm on a mission now. I mean, I do have to have something to show his first girlfriend, right?!

K vs. Daddy

2007-12-01T19:31:00.000-06:00

so...
what do 2 boys do when cooped up inside due to the weather?

it's a winter wonderland

2007-12-01T09:05:00.000-06:00

ahhh, everything is aglow with a fresh coat of...

I.C.E
this means that wonderland requires figuring out how long it will take you to bite it and fall ass over end.

photo meme

2007-11-30T20:16:00.000-06:00

I found this photo meme on Em's site, Billy's Diary and thought I'd give it a try.
Here’s what you do: Type the answer to each question into a Google image search, and then pick an image from the first page of results.

1. Age at next birthday

2. Place I'd like to travel

3. Favorite place

4. Favorite object

5. Favorite food

6. Favorite animal

7. Favorite color

8. My nickname

9. Town I was born

10. Bad habit I have

K versus Chair

2007-11-27T10:04:00.000-06:00

*No chairs were harmed in the making of this video*

done out of love

2007-11-23T09:00:00.000-06:00

"it's done out of love." J says after letting a fart rip.
"um, hmm." I respond...and then let out my own in retaliation.

have you guessed what this post is about?!
well, sillies, it's about love...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
okay, okay...it's about farting. but don't blame me for such a base (7) topic. J at o the joys started it!

I read her post this morning and had a "head smack" epiphany that is worthy of being a grant covered study. seems that love doesn't have anything to do with flowers, candy and jewelry.

"what?" you say

yes, yes, true love seems to be more about whether or not you and your significant other will fart in front of each other or suffer the mighty inconvience (and gutteral pain, I might add) of holding afore mentioned fart in.

so there you have it! weren't you just dying to know the secret! celion dion be damned, gimme some tenacious d!

now if you'll excuse me, I have some love to share...if only I could find that can of beans...

can I get a "woot, woot"!

2007-11-21T11:22:00.000-06:00

"Now is the winter of our discontent." - William Shakespeare

I know I said I was going to lay off on posting about work, but I have some decent news. Actually, nothing changes for me really. But there is a certain co-worker of mine, Receptionist R, who has "high and mighty" tendancies that coincide with her never being wrong, of course.

Anyway, Miss H & M gets to be in charge when Killjoy isn't here, as Killjoy's responsibilities now include managing certain aspects of the branch offices. R also has increased tasks to go along with her H & M-ness. Why does this thrill me? Because:
a) My job doesn't change. Not to mention I get to keep my job. There've been many sudden changes here so that was a concern. Even though I'm not overly happy to be here, I still need a job.
b) If the shit hits the fan while R is in charge, it comes down on her!
c) R doesn't handle conflict well and gets tense easily, throw in her hatred at being wrong at anything (which she'll deny anyway) and there is potential for a breakdown Britney Spears style!
d) Last week, in her H & M-ness, R sent out an email stating that I'd only be doing commercial proposals and part-timer would take over the residential ones. Well today, that got reversed by Killjoy! Toss in the fact that R has to send out another email stating that her changes have been nixed and it is going back to the way it was and all I wanted to do was shout at R to get off her high horse, kiss my ass and flip her the bird!

Now, go read this post from earlier! It's my first attempt at being slightly creative and "wordsmithy", which I've been lacking at for quite some time. After all, I could've just said I watched snow fall and got all emotional.(snark)

Wintery-ness

2007-11-21T09:15:00.000-06:00

"You can't get too much winter in the winter." - Robert Frost

I heard cautious (and slightly panicked) voices declare that it was snowing. Making an excuse to get up from my desk, I walked to another department and through their picture windows, watched the whiteness fall.

Many different feelings passed through me as I studied the fine layer of snow covering the cars in the parking lot. Excitement, this is the earliest it's snowed here in a very long time. Apprehension, what will the drive home be like today (and all the days to come during the season). Pairs of feelings hold hands and come to join me at the window. Wonder and Adventure, this will be the first year that K will be able to play in the snow. Comfort and Fear, I like watching the snow fall while wrapped up in a blanket at home and I fear what it will be like when I do have to deal with it.

So it begins, the winter season. I acknowledge it with a nod and a handshake, because in a few months I'll want to give it a swift uppercut and tell it to go away.

a little music to pass the time

2007-11-18T21:08:00.000-06:00

looking for words

2007-11-17T19:39:00.000-06:00

do you ever go through times when you're stuck for something to say? or if you do have something, it's usually the same thing over and over - like a broken record? that's how I've felt lately.

it's not that I don't have anything to talk about. heck, spend more than 15 minutes with me and get through a few "hmm's" and "ahhh's" and you'll discover that I have a lot to say. however, seems like all I've been doing here is complaining, about work specifically. granted, work is pretty lame right now. it's become something I deal with for the sake of my family. I'm reminded of this quote:
"one can tolerate demons for the sake of an angel."
the demon being work and the angel(s) being J and K.

so that's what I've been doing, tolerating. however it's also caused me to not be that into writing which leads to long gaps between posts. thing is, I don't want to bitch about work anymore. I don't really want to bitch about anything but I'm human so that is a lofty expectation and not one I can commit to.
not to mention, how many posts can you really stand to read about my work?!

so I'm working on finding things to write about. I used to write all the time but various things have distracted me from it over the years. if anyone has ideas on how/where to start I could use some suggestions.

don't worry, there will still be cute posts about K. he is, of course, numero uno in the family here (much to our cats' dismay).

The Emergency Procedures for a Tornado in "Husker" Town

2007-11-08T11:24:00.000-06:00

In case Tornados make their way through Husker Town, all residents are asked to take shelter at Memorial Stadium.
It has been determined that no touchdowns will occur there.

I'm not a big "talk about sports" person, but this season has sucked. S.U.C.K.E.D.

Odd One Out?

2007-11-07T15:12:00.000-06:00

Am I the only mom who would rather do nothing than spend time with her son at night and on the weekends?
Seriously, I don't want to spend 4 hours at a ballet performance of The Nutcracker because that's 4 hours away from K. Hell, I'm lucky if I can tolerate 2 hours away to see a movie in the theatre.

If there was any way in hell that I could be a stay at home mom, and our finances/life wouldn't suffer, I'd jump at the chance. I don't mind working but there are times when I feel jipped to be away from K. Some people don't understand how difficult it is to be away from him 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. I don't even want to add up the hours...it's depressing.

And it's the very reason why I don't go out much. I HAVE to be away from him to work during the week, I'll be damned if anyone is going to make me take time away from him on the weekend.

So there, I said it. This has been festering for a while.

Quizzeee

2007-11-03T07:40:00.000-06:00

It's That Time of Year

2007-11-02T08:41:00.000-06:00

Changes...

2007-11-01T20:04:00.000-06:00

Don't directly involve me and that is just fine!

Turns out a Sales Manager got out of line and caused the job changes to be implemented in order to resolve the "situation". I've no idea what happened and I'm grateful for it!
As they say, ignorance is bliss!

30 Lashings or Sent to Bed Without Dinner

2007-11-01T06:44:00.001-06:00

"Changes" are afoot at work. Killjoy is supposed to have us in a meeting today to go over things.
I hate change. It usually causes more chaos than good.
Have I mentioned I HATE change?!

To You Happy Halloween We Wish

2007-10-31T00:00:00.000-06:00

Time for a Name

2007-10-26T18:58:00.000-06:00

K's first, true wubby (Pumpkin Bear) is very close to needing to be wrapped up and packed away for adulthood reminiscing.
We've found a suitable alternative (because there's no way the other wubby will ever be replaced).

Now we just need a name.
EDIT: Moments after I hit "publish" J decided he liked "Spooky Bear" ala Fox "Spooky" Mulder (X-Files). I am still partial to Bear Skellington - an homage to Tim Burton and the movie "Nightmare Before Christmas"/Jack Skellington.
So, if the mood strikes you, what do you think the name should be. I won't guarantee that we'll go with the one that gets the most votes, but we'll decide that later.

It Could Be...

2007-10-26T08:16:00.000-06:00

An electrical "thing" that's about to go
Water Pump
Timing Belt
Thermostat
Catalytic converter

OR

it could be nothing. HA! Take that!

Mystery smell was gone today. Anti-freeze looked fine and it was full. All fluids were good.
No idea what the smell could be from, so finding the potential problem is difficult.
I hope it was just a fluke.

And what is it with men and cars?! Seriously, you ask them about 1 thing and they come up with 15 possible answers! My head was about the explode yesterday from all of the "It could be" responses.

Oh well. As of right now, car is good. Let's hope it stays that way.

C'mon, I Mean Really...

2007-10-25T12:15:00.000-06:00

Have you EVER heard of a relatively new car that's had regular (and I mean regular with a capital "R") oil changes, kept up with good maintenance and not even at the 70,000 mile mark having an engine go out?

No, that hasn't come into the picture yet, but until I can go check the color of my anti-freeze (& pray that it's a clear color and not murky with oil) a blown head-gasket and in turn the potential for my engine to be on it's last leg is bouncing through my head.

Where did this come from? Well, this morning I was almost to work when I noticed a weird smell coming through my vents when I had the fan on. I thought it might be from a passing truck, but the smell never went away. At lunch time I started my car and turned on the fan to see if the smell was still there and sure enough it started to creep through again. I took it in and the Tech thinks it is related to my radiator leaking but I haven't found any signs of a leak.

J called his dad and the first thing his dad said was to check the color of the anti-freeze. Clear = good, murky = very, very bad.

Unfortunately I am back at work now (see how diligently I'm working - LOL) so I can't go and check it. Plus, the car will still be warm and I don't need a hot blast of steam to give me the Harvey Dent look.

Sooooo, hopefully by tonight we'll be able to check it out and I'll have better news. I keep hoping it was some fluke smell. Hope, hope, hope........

Here Goes

2007-10-24T08:01:00.000-06:00

I'm pursuing an opportunity. I'm nervous as hell, intimidated and generally wondering if I'm being foolish to put myself out there.

True, I don't LOVE where I'm working now but Killjoy generally doesn't bug me by hovering over every little thing I do, I can do this job in my sleep, even though this place doesn't have a "Flex time" policy Killjoy does let me make up some time if I need to go to a DR appt or such, I have set hours that I do really like, I'm a few months away from being full vested in 401K and I have a paid vacation coming up over the Chrismas/New Year holidays.
If I leave I won't have those things.

Does anyone LOVE their job anyway? If they did would there be movies like Office Space?!

I know I'm "talking" my way out of applying. I do that. I don't want to think the "grass is greener on the other side" because it may not be. All the things I like about my current job (as few as they are) may be tossed out the window.

I guess I'm just going to do it. Hell, I may not even catch their eye.

UPDATE
So I just e-mailed it over. I had to write a letter about me, what I've done so far in my career, what I want to do, etc etc. It couldn't be a standard cover letter, either. Here's hoping I don't come across like a court jester. I figure if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be. They'll either like what they see or not. I have to at least try.

One Last Blast

2007-10-21T17:56:00.000-06:00

Summer is on its way out so we decided to celebrate with (most likely) one last trip to the park.

Bangle Bracelets and Stirrup Pants

2007-10-19T07:43:00.000-06:00

I decided to go a different direction today and chose the Best of the '80's on sky.fm for my musical accompianant throughout the work day
(accompianant - my big DOLLAR word for the day - LOL), when who should come on but The Jets.

I haven't heard songs from them in years and was immediately sent spirally back into the 80's with my big "ocean spray" puffed/teased/bleached bangs, stirrup pants and bangle bracelets tangled up in jelly bracelets on both of my wrists.

I wonder what else will send me skipping through time while I try to do as little work as possible today.

UPDATE:
Red, Red Wine by UB40 is playing. I wonder how that would taste disguised in Diet Pepsi? Kidding, I would never do that...the red wine in Diet Pepsi. Something else mixed in though.......

On the Mend with a Side of Feathers Rustled

2007-10-18T14:10:00.000-06:00

Slowly I'm getting better. My voice still sounds like a 14 year old boy going through puberty, but hey, at least I have a voice. Earlier this week all I could muster was a raspy whisper.
*****
Now, onto my rustled feathers.
I've had K's 18 month DR appt scheduled (& turned into Killjoy) for 2.5 months.
Killjoy tells me Receptionist has jury duty that starts on 2 weeks, the same day as K's appt. She "puts me on notice" and mentions that I will probably have to reschedule the appt. Keep in mind, I turned in the appt time 2.5 MONTHS AGO!
Anyway, I try to be proactive and get it changed and the damn b*tch Killjoy tells me that the day I chose won't work because Receptionist has to go to jury duty "pre" meeting. WTF?! I shouldn't have to reschedule shit. I gave more than enough fucking notice to begin with.
I get another appt (& thankfully the DR office Receptionist was a sweetheart about my calling 3 times) and it was ok with Killjoy.

The point is, I'm pissed off with myself. I should've just kept the first appt. I should've just told them tough I can't get another appt scheduled so they're just have to deal. I fucking cave in, trying to be proactive, and it gets me nowhere. What do I get for switching around things? Nothing. No "thank you", no kudos, no recognition of any kind. That's why I'm upset - I change my life around and expect something/hope for something and I always get nothing AND I know that's how it ends every time and yet I keep falling into the same damn "trap".
I seriously need to pull my head out of my ass...the sooner the better.

All's Fair in Love & Sharing the Cold-bug

2007-10-17T10:06:00.000-06:00

K's much better.
Me, not so much.
I guess it's fair because the last two times K got sick, J was on the receiving end of Cold-bug's affection.

Ode To Tylenol

2007-10-15T10:39:00.000-06:00

Ahhh, the glorious victory Tylenol had/is still having over the as-yet-unknown virual throat infection that tried to beat down my toddler over the weekend.
Ha, evil virus - you have met your match! Not only did the constant 101.8+ fever not keep him down, he was in a better mood than I could've dreamed for! Sure, when you reared your ugly head and flared up to 103 he was as red as a lobster in a pot and became a cauldron of cranki-ness, but that was nothing a nap (and yet another dose of Tylenol) couldn't help.
I will concede that you succeeded in messing up his already gone bonkers sleep schedule with multiple night wakings. However, I am confident that he will slumber peacefully once more and dream of nothing but his new-found-love of Thomas the Train and Hi-5.

So, here's a shot of tylenol in your eye...now p*ss off and leave my toddler alone!

More Giggles Than Cries

2007-10-12T07:28:00.000-06:00

So last night we caved...
As Bill Cosby put it so well: "Parents don't want justice, they want QUIET!"

We let K watch Pat the Bunny and about 1/2 way through we gave him mac n'cheese for dinner (the second night in a row - oh the scandal!). He ate the entire plate full and even had 1/2 of a fruit roll-up.
There was a slight fuss when the video was over and we had to rewind it. K still doesn't understand the whole "rewind" thing.
(Daddy and I are already preparing the PC to transfer the tape to DVD, then we can just loop the fucker! Yes, I'm cursing - I've gone through figuring out where my nose is, having a good supper and bluey the blue-blue blanket enough times that only expletives will do. But I digress...)

He watched it again and this time 1/2 way through played a little bit with us and his cars. It's been a long time since he laughed a good belly laugh and we sorely missed it.

FF to this morning where he slept until 5:30 AM, which is freaking awesome considering the 4:30 wakings over the past few days. Not too fussy when trying to get dressed, etc and can you guess - he watched Pat the Bunny twice!

Like I pointed out, I'm not looking for justice or the Pediatrician Recommended way to do things right now, I just want quiet - or at least more giggles than cries.

Taking Notes

2007-10-11T08:25:00.000-06:00

Thank you DD for this post.
It's the "been there, done that" reassurances that I use to calm my nerves and try again the next day.

Ahhh, I Just Love The Smell of Hypocrisy in the Morning!

2007-10-10T08:53:00.000-06:00

4:54 am
K wakes ~~way to fucking early~~ fussing and before I can tell J to give him a few minutes because he may calm down and go back to sleep, J has gone in and gotten K up.
I got changed to do my AM workout and as J is strapping K into his booster at the table he says to K:
"Mommy's going to do her workout so she won't pay attention to you so you're with me."
What I heard: I'm pissed off that I have to get out of bed while Mommy gets to workout.
Uh, yeah, ASSHOLE!
1. K hadn't even cried for more than 10 seconds before you shot out of bed to get him, therefore negating any chance of him possibly going back to sleep.
2. How easily you forget the number of times I had to get out of bed to take care of him when he was younger and not sleeping through the night yet. Where were you? In bed...
3. How many times have I gotten him and sat him right outside the bathroom (either in the exersaucer or other type of chair) so that he could see me and I could still get ready for work?! Hmmm? How many times? And where were you? Where? Yes, in bed...
4. I've put off pursuing a career because I want to spend time with my son. At my current job I don't have to deal with "up and comers" who're trying to unseat me and its relatively easy for me to take time off if I need to for K, not to mention that as long as I do my work Killjoy leaves me alone. Does it satisfy me? No, but I'm employed and right now that's what counts.
J = Jackass
*******
9:52 am
Killjoy chats with me for all of a minute and then her mobile phone rings and I could tell that this was a personal call from her new boyfriend.
Now, I don't care if people talk on their mobiles. The type of office that this is you just get used to it and tune it out. There is no way in hell you're going to get a load of Sales Reps to surrender their mobiles, it's part of their job.
The problem I have with Killjoy is that SHE was the one who was constanting hounding Part-timer A (#1) about talking on her mobile. It was unacceptable. The Sales Reps get to do it because it's part of their job, but office staff absolutely should not.
Well, well, well...now she is the one lolly-gagging on the phone! This isn't the first time I've indirectly overheard her on her phone with personal business, either.
Again, I don't care that people (even Killjoy) talk on their mobiles. I DO care about people shaking their finger at someone in disappointment only to turn around and do the very same thing they're condoning.
*******

I'm not necessarily in a foul mood. Just ticked off a bit to not let people merge in front of me in traffic.

Picking Up The Pieces

2007-10-09T06:53:00.000-06:00

Get comfy, this is a long one.

So here I am, slightly more together than this time last week. I've no idea what hit me, but for 2 days I was out of the game entirely. I dragged my ass to work last Wednesday (mainly to avoid any lectures from KillJoy) and slowly got things going again.
I hate being sick. Although, I can't say that I minded being off of work. Considering the amount of shit I've dealt with this year, it was nice to not have to think about them.
Of course, I would've enjoyed the time more if I could've accomplished something like having fun or an interview. Such as it was, I laid in bed and watched re-runs of Doctor Who.
*******
A lot has come up over the past 2 weeks. For one, K is hell bent on something or other and J and I have no freaking clue what it is. He doesn't act up at daycare, which is good, however he turns into evil incarnate when he gets home - throwing temper tantrums, whining, grunting, crying...if you can think of it he's done it. I even had to call his DR because I totally didn't know what to do! The nurse and I went through some things and we don't think it's a physical thing (like ear infection, etc) because he doesn't act this way at daycare. So basically, 90% of what we try to do to calm him down doesn't work.
The ONLY thing that calms him down is the video Pat the Bunny-Sing With Me. It wouldn't be such a big deal except that every time he see the TV he points and lets out this grunt/whine and is only happy with Pat the Bunny on. Did I mention EVERY FREAKING TIME HE SEES THE TV?!
My aspirations for him don't include plopping him down in-front of the same video all day every day, but that is all he wants! I had hopes of being a better parent than that, but at this point all I want is quiet! I feel like shit for giving in to it but for the sake of K calming down, J's nerves and my hearing - we do.

We've also been working on getting him down to 1 nap a day, thinking that maybe his bizarro attitude could be a "sign" that he's ready. The verdict is still out on that one. So far, whether he gets 2 naps or 1, he still has that hell bent attitude going on.

And what the fuck about him not acting this way at daycare? Seriously, what the fuckity fuck fuck?!

On another note, his separation anxiety is getting better - AT DAYCARE! (If you could see me now, you'd see me shaking my head in disbelief. I hate not having a clue what is going on or what to do!)
*******
This past weekend we went to the park and K did well on the slides. At one point, J had to go get something from the car and I stayed with K, who was watching J's every move and started to get upset that he was leaving the play area. I reassured him that Daddy would be coming back and it helped a little bit.
On the way home we stopped at a gas station and J went in to get a lottery ticket (because damn wouldn't it be nice!) and as he left the car, K got upset again. I repeated my earlier assurances that Daddy would be right back.

Where am I going with this?

What if Daddy didn't come back? What if something happened to him? What audacity do I have to say something like that when I have no control over every single event in life? I feel like a liar to my son everytime I say "Daddy'll be right back" or "I'll be right back." How do I know that? I don't and that freaks me out. Not to mention that sting of disappointment at letting my son down should anything horrible happen. The twisted knife in the side feeling at being proven wrong has been dogging me for a while now and I don't know how to get past it. I haven't found the words to replace the "be right back" and that scares me. I don't want to lie to my son. I know the world can be a difficult place to navigate through and I want to protect him and teach how to get through the muck, but I don't want to do it under the guise of false pretenses like "be right back" because you just don't know.

Don't think I haven't pondered the whole Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Claus issue as well. If you really want to get technical, that's lying too because those things don't exist. My point is that the above 3 figures generally don't damage someone's pysche. There may be some slight disappointment when K realizes that it was J and I being the Tooth Fairy or planting the Easter basket not to mention searching high and low for that "gotta have it" toy of the Christmas season. He won't be spending years in therapy because of it though. Well, not unless we're cheap on rewarding for teeth or get him crappy gifts...which if you've seen his closet full of clothes, huge dump trucks and gazillion cars (which you haven't, but go with me on this) then you'd know we indulge him, even if a bit too much at times.

*******
So, there it is. Everything I've been holding in for the past few weeks. Well, except for the flu that slapped me up, down, around and made me it's bitch. I didn't hold anything in during those few days.

psst

2007-10-08T06:43:00.001-06:00

I'm still alive. :-)

I spent last week picking myself up off the floor of the bathroom due to some freak flu.

More to come. Now I'm playing catch up.

Chat update

2007-09-25T08:25:00.000-06:00

So I spoke w/Killjoy yesterday and it turns out she just wanted to see how things were going, etc, since the change. Why she couldn't have just asked that while at my desk I've no idea.
I told her it's been calmer for me and things are going smoothly. I made a light joke about how there's been less drama since the move. She laughed and said she "has enough drama up here."

Exactly the reason I'm glad I'm on the other side of the building...away from it!

"so let's have a chat tomorrow."

2007-09-24T13:00:00.000-06:00

those are the words from Killjoy to me just a few minutes ago.

Backstory:
Since previous part-timer was fired I've gone to the sales desk from one of the front office ones so that I could be where the sales reps are. Since they changed the responsibilities that the new part timer is doing and given the bids back to me to prepare, I need to be in the sales area.

Over the past 2.5 weeks, I've not only cleaned up and organized this area again, I've kept up on the work and have been nothing but pleasant and accomodating to the reps, even the ones I despise. That, in and of itself, is a HUGE step for me. I'm not one to mince words with the reps here. You give them an inch and they take a mile so you have to put your foot down and hard or they will walk all over you.

Due to me working in this area, I don't have the need to venture up towards the front offices much, which means I don't have to sit through the mindless banter that Killjoy, the receptionist and collections lady go through every morning. This is totally fine with me! Plus, there is usually a stack of bids for me to go through when I start first thing, so bantering is not priority #1.

So I come in, do my job and go home. I've been doing my best to stay under the radar in an attempt to just melt into the scenery and avoid being drawn into any drama. I've had enough drama this year at work between a particular sales manager and then the part timer debacle. Seriously, I don't need, nor do I want to socialize! Not here, anyway.

Then, out of the blue here comes Killjoy saying she'd like to chat tomorrow since we haven't talked in a while. I explain that things are fine, I've just been kept busy. Anyway, we agree to chat tomorrow.

Thing is...I hate that kind of thing! If you want to talk to me about something, then just call me up to your office and talk to me. Don't make me wait it out 24 hours! That's like taking a band-aid off.....r-e-a-l.....s-l-o-w-l-y!

I called Killjoy and told her that if she wanted to chat we could do it today. She said to give her a few minutes. So here I wait, for her to call back I guess, I don't know.

p shy

2007-09-18T09:43:00.000-06:00

As potty training K comes upon us, J and I have been going back and forth on how to begin the process. We're not in the throws of it yet, but it's coming...soon.

During one of our conversations it came up that J isn't comfortable with having K in the bathroom while he's taking care of business #1. I tried to reassure him that it wasn't weird to have K around so that he could see what he needs to do, etc. I've accumlated numerous magazine and internet articles to "prove" to J that we won't be scarring K by letting him in the bathroom with us.
It's all in vain, I think.

I'm not as bothered by it as J. Of course, I sit down so woman bits are mostly hidden. I think J is hesitant about K being with me in the bathroom, too. He says it's fine, but there's a tone of voice that reveals his apprehension.

So, I'm not sure what to do. Any potty-trainers out there want to give ass-vice? (pun TOTALLY intended!)

UPDATE - In response to Christy's comment, J lets him cry and pound on the door. He doesn't like to hear it, but he'd take that over sharing the bathroom with K. Usually, both of us aren't in the bathroom at the same time so one of us will run interference.

Who Cares if You Can Count to 5...

2007-09-16T17:58:00.000-06:00

I'm cute as hell, baby! Yeah!

If you missed the reference, read this post.

Quirky? I Got Your Quirky!

2007-09-15T21:35:00.000-06:00

YAY!!! I've been tagged! Christy at Cakerwakers shared the meme joy with me, so here goes. The meme consists of listing seven quirks/habits about me.

#1
I mixed up/make up words (very similar to Christy's #7). For example, Hubba Bubba bubble gum is Bubba Yubba. Making a U-turn is a whip-a-whirl and instead of figure 8's, they're circle 8's. Confused yet?

#2
J has named the 2nd toe (next to the big toe) my "old man toe". It's long and skinny and I don't know why but the name just stuck.

#3
Everything has its place. If you are of the "anal-retentive" group, you know what I mean.

#4
I could eat Cap'n Crunch cereal and macaroni and cheese everyday and NEVER get sick of it. EVER.

#5
I switch things off. Whether its a light, the TV, radio, if its not being used, its switched off. It doesn't matter if I'm at home or at work. I suppose this could go hand in hand with #3.

#6
I only wear black hair ties/scrunci's.

#7
I think Einstein was onto something by only wearing the same style suit everyday. If I could get away with it (and not get funny looks), I'd wear the same style suit everyday too. I like clothes well enough but it frustrates me to have to figure out what to wear each day.

So there you go - all my quirkiness. My apologies to Christy for taking so damn long!

Suuuupperrr-Genius!

2007-09-13T09:54:00.000-06:00

I feel the beginning of a "mom-complex" coming on.

In the past I've visited a message board and gotten to "know" some people there. One of the women has a son the same age as K. She has a tendancy to be an AW (attention whore) on the board and that's one of the reasons I don't visit there much anymore. I must be a glutton for punishment because yesterday I peeked in, only to find that her son is already counting to 5, eating all his veggies, keeping his hat on when going for walks outside and a handful of other things.

So what's my complex? It's that K is no where near that and I feel like I should be doing more. Since both boys are the same age, shouldn't they be doing almost the same things? I know every child is different and develops at their own pace, but it still makes me feel like I'm failing. Worse yet, like I'm cheating K out of learning and therefore submitting him to a life of just horseplay and graham crackers. At the same time, I don't want to be one of "those" moms who plans out every single minute of K's day with fancy language programs and trapeze stunts.

I know he's learning things. He's learning loads! He knows how to close the dishwasher and tries to turn the knob to get it to start, he knows to go to the bathroom when we wash our hands, he knows where his toys are, what dogs are (even though he calls them "arf"-s), he speaks a handful of words (maybe more if I could understand him) - I could go on and on.

For whatever reason I have the image that I'm supposed to be like Hal from Malcolm in the Middle, sitting infront of K with flash cards and music playing.

I don't know where I'm going with this post. I guess I'm looking to reassure myself that just because K isn't reciting the entire alphabet, counting to 100 or creating some brilliant algorithm, that it doesn't mean that he will grow up to be a git.

ee-ii-ee-ii-oooooooo

2007-09-11T10:36:00.000-06:00

The farm set is now called "ee-ii-ee-ii-oooooooo" too. Everytime he sees it he starts singing. :-)

Breakfast of Champions (Ode to Bill Cosby)

2007-09-06T06:57:00.000-06:00

This morning was like any other morning:
Get K up, changed, dressed and at the table impatiently waiting for his toast and eggs, which Daddy was making at lightening speed.
K eats the toast and 3 pieces of egg (of which I had to bribe him to eat) and then he's off and running around with his lovely/oh, when do we put it out of it's misery?/pumpkin bear.

It's my turn to get dressed and Daddy is "on K watch".

I finished putting on my shoes, started walking into the Dining Room and what should I see in K's hand? A chocolate chip cookie.
I asked K, "Did Daddy give you the cookie?"
K, "Yeaaah." (munch, munch) Bill Cosby would be proud

Husker Fever

2007-09-01T18:33:00.000-06:00

Husker Gear: Check!
September 2007

June 2006

Husker Touchdown: Check

Calling Grandma to rave about Husker Touchdown: Check

Ahhhhh, I love football in the fall!

Refrigerator Fun

2007-08-31T07:27:00.000-06:00

To help K learn faces and names, I took some pictures and attached them to some magnetic paper. I'm no Martha, but K seemed entertained none-the-less.

Petting Zoo

2007-08-30T19:26:00.000-06:00

ding, dong the bitch is gone!

2007-08-28T14:12:00.000-06:00

the title says it all!

I've also been "relocated" from the front office next to the lobby to my previous desk in the Sales Dept, which is actually a VERY good thing. I don't have to over-hear the drama from the Receptionist, R, or the nagging voice of co-worker, P, whose voice shoots up 3 octavs with every other word.
I'm no longer on display for any clients that come in the lobby, nor am I someone to ~~barge in on~~ chat with while someone else is waiting to talk with one of the managers.

It's a beautiful thing and I'm lovin' it! Hell to the F-in' YEAH!

Putting the Smack Down

2007-08-24T08:36:00.000-06:00

Part-timer is going to get the smack down today...I hope she quits. She'll have to go 30 days w/o being late or abscent and she'll have to prove she's here or leaving for the day by checking in with Killjoy.

I know I shouldn't be happy that it's gotten to this point and that if she quits my workload will increase, but honestly I'm thrilled. I wish I could be a fly on the wall in Killjoy's office. I'm that fed up w/ part timer that I'd pack up her shit and load it in her car for her. Believe me, that is pretty fed up for me.

Me

2007-08-22T13:53:00.000-06:00

As in, "Give it to me".

This is K's newest word and there is no doubt that he knows how to use it. Forget "mine" and being possesive. Its all about commanding that you'd better give (fill-in-the-blank) to him or else suffer the wrath of toddler K!

So, if you're keeping track, he says "yes" (or "ass" depending on how well tuned your ears are) and "me". He hasn't said "yes" in a week or so, pretty much the time he figured out "me". Not sure if that's a good thing or not...

Out Like 70's Leisure Pants!

2007-08-21T09:49:00.000-06:00

Remember the part timer “mess” I told you about a bit ago? Well guess who called in again?! Killjoy has reached her limit and I think part-timer is buh-bye!
That sucks for me, or does it?!
Hehe, I put together some options of how to re-assign some work etc and of course I mentioned some extra $ for me since I’d be doing more work. If they give me one quarter of her hourly wage as an increase, hell, I’ll put out a few dozen fires a day. Then they get the remaining three quarters back in the company “pocket”. It’d be nice if they’d just agree to that. That’d be a decent increase for me too. I made it look like it’d be a service to the company to re-assign stuff, etc. I may be a glutton for punishment, but I’m not THAT silly. : ) We’ll see if it flies.

All I know is that part timer needs to go like leisure pants in the 70’s.

Like Fingernails Down a Blackboard...

2007-08-20T09:57:00.000-06:00

Dear R
It's pronounced Squ-AW-sh, not Squ-ORR-sh (aka Squash)and WAW-sh, not WOR-sh (aka Wash).

Dearest Little People

2007-08-19T08:15:00.000-06:00

You have been scrubbed and sanitized so that whatever toddler offending, stomach-upsetting, vomit-inducing "thing" has been erradicated from your plastic bodies and knock-off hair.
Of course I don't hold you solely responsible for the rankness in the air (and carpet), but you know the drill...ALL toys get it.
You may go about your business in the morning.
That is all.

Can you guess how I spent my Saturday night???

Counting 1...2...2.5...2.999999999999997

2007-08-17T10:37:00.000-06:00

One noodle into eating his dinner last night, K decided to have a mini-meltdown which consisted of cry-whining, leaning his head back so that he looked at the ceiling through squinted eyes.
We had no idea what brought it on, but before I knew it I was leaning over near K's left ear, uttering the words:
"I'm going to count to three and if you don't calm down, you'll go to your crib."
Of course, that didn't work. I repeated it a second time, a third time...
So I hesitantly started the countdown
1...
2...
Here was the point where I so desperately wanted to count to two and a quarter, two and a half, two and...I just wanted to eat my dinner. I REALLY didn't want to have to get up, undo the seat strap and take K into his room, listen to him cry even more, try and ingnore it...
3...
Holy shit, I made it to three!
I got up out of my chair and as I made it over to K, he stopped his cry-whine and had a noodle in his hand, heading for his mouth. Literally, just as I got to his chair to undo the strap, he stopped.

I love my son, but after that I gave him the biggest "you've got to be freakin' kidding me/go figure" eye-roll you could possibly imagine.

Gimmick or Good Idea?

2007-08-15T09:30:00.000-06:00

I found these in a magazine and thought they looked like a good idea.
That being said, good ideas for children are 80% gimmick to have parents throw money out the window.
What sayeth the bloggers?

I Will Get You...

2007-08-14T18:55:00.000-06:00

With my laser-beam eyes!

K has discovered a new "look". LOL.
I wouldn't have any idea where he learned that from....nope...isn't anything like how I look at J when he says something assinine...nope, not me...

UPDATE A Little This, A Little That & A Little Pot Calling The Kettle Black

2007-08-14T11:46:00.001-06:00

I'm going to start with a mini-rant:
BossLady (aka Killjoy - I'll be explaining this next) has been wound up over attendance. Not mine, but part timers and another full timer, P. I completely agree w/her opinion on part timer but she needs to be a bit more understanding of P. It's not that I get along well with P or anything, but I will say that she works her rear off when she's here, shows up early and may stay late if needed, etc. So P has had 3 "occurences" since mid-May. Not terrible, but still averaging 1x/month. I can understand BossLady's point, but at the same time she needs to look at the performance overall.
So, last Thursday P got in a car accident. She is fine (as well as you can be), but you could tell BossLady was annoyed that P would be gone another 1-2 days. She was concerned about P, but still annoyed.
Where is all of this going? Well, BossLady has had her share of missed days recently! In fact, she was sick over the weekend and didn't come in yesterday (Monday). So what we have here is the pot calling the kettle black. Maybe she will remember that things happen and everyone can't have perfect attendance - even her!

I've also given BossLady the name, Killjoy, because she is exactly that! The main interstate in our area is undergoing construction and last Wednesday there was a third major accident that closed the interstate both ways. I wrote a comment into a local news station saying I wondered what would have to happen before the authorities would do something. A reporter, M, from the station called and wanted to do an interview. I said sure, why not and over my lunch hour I did a face to face with her. When it was over I went back in to finish my lunch and my boss was all concered that I did the interview in the parking lot and did they get the company name in there because that would be bad, etc, etc. Basically all the fun I had with the spur-of-the-moment interview was zapped out of me as she put the "fear of the President" in me. I asked her if I should let the President know and she said no, but acted all funny about it.
I decided to hell with her and went to tell the President. I did it simply and told him I wanted to let him know about the interview so that he wouldn't be surprised by seeing his business on the news. Guess what?! He was cool with it and the next day he even complimented me on how well I did.
Sooooooo, take that KillJoy BossLady!

On lighter news, K is walking up stairs with help. He never did crawl up them, he always stood up, grabbed our hand for help, and just went. There is nothing graceful about his going up stairs yet, but it will come.

J seems to think K calls me "Ommy" (mommy) but I'm not sure. He's starting to say "me" and "mine" but there's still work to do. Mostly it's m's and e's that are coming out, so perhaps it's wishful thinking on my part that they are actual words. LOL.

*UPDATE* If you want to see me in all my glorious dorki-ness (re: the interview) then email me. If I "know" who you are, I'll send the link. If I don't, then piss off! :)

Sooooo...

2007-08-10T13:42:00.001-06:00

Would you:
A) Stay at current job and pursue a Master's degree knowing full well that part-timer will probably be fired within the month and work load will increase BUT you could do the job in your sleep with or without her so no big change there, as well as possibility of career advancement/bonus-incentive for taking on extra work is practically nil. However, the chance of maintaining a decent GPA in the Master's program is pretty good while working here because of being able to work online over lunch hour.

OR

B) For-go even thinking about a Master's degree and keep pursuing other opportunities, which may mean getting the degree may not be able to happen at all due to learning a new job and being with my family in the evenings.

The degree program I'm thinking about is completely online and would take approx. 2 years, maybe a few months less.

Just something I'm tossing about in my noggin this ~~hotter than hell~~ lovely Friday afternoon.

He's Eating What?

2007-08-08T07:34:00.000-06:00

My little picky eater who requires almost everything to have cheese on it and turns away from anything healthy ate Fiber One cereal last night! I mix it in with yogurt for part of my lunch and was getting stuff ready for the next day and K saw me and instantly had to have some, so I put some on his plate not expecting him to touch it.

So you're my witness, little man ate something healthy. For once! LOL!

Miscellaneous Stuff

2007-08-07T09:52:00.001-06:00

I found Zany Mama's post interesting and decided to take the test myself.

UPDATE:
I didn't get to finish this post earlier, so here I am now.
I think the "test" is pretty right on. I've known I was an introvert for a while but I didn't realize that I would score quite so high on the judging. Makes me look like I just criticize every little thing. After thinking about it, I guess I do. I don't know if that's a good thing, though.
In a way it's bad because it could mean that I don't try and even be a little bit positive. I do try, albeit only 3/4 of the time.
Being so "judging" could be good because I research things and don't take them at face value very often. I want to form my own opinion about someone or something.
I'm not surprised at all by the "thinking" one. I work things out in my head a lot, hence the introvert too.

What surprised me most is that on the chart I'm WAY over on the right for introvert and then WAY over on the left for everything else. It screams "extreme", no middle ground, no balance. I wonder if that means anything...

Learning A Bit More

2007-08-07T07:22:00.000-06:00

K leaned to say "ah gah" (all gone) late last week and "uh-P" (up) last night. He thinks "up" is funny so every time I say it he laughs.

He gets a kick out of turning the light switch on and off. He still needs practice with it, but it's entertaining him.

We also got him a booster seat which he likes. No more high chair. I'm a bit sad about packing that up, but at the same time it makes it easier for him to sit at the table and eat with us. Thankfully no plates have been shoved off of the table, yet. He is boycotting the fork and spoons, though. I guess it's just easier to eat with fingers.

K also has a fascination with the vacuum cleaner. He wants to help clean and have it out all the time. When we put it away, he gets upset. I have to laugh because in a few years I'm sure cleaning will be the last thing on his mind. LOL.

We also switched daycares due to B retiring at the end of this year. I was really nervous about how he'd make the change, etc. R (new daycare) says he's doing well and sticks to his routine very well. I was relieved to hear that. I haven't gone into much detail on here about some of the concerns that were coming up with B, but it came down to her not keeping him on his routine which was turning him into a little monster. He was fighting with the other kids, coming home exhausted and whiney. It was getting to be too much. We wanted to wait until closer to the end of the year but we just couldn't. In the end, it was better for him (and us) and it's nice to not get the "what he did wrong today" report when we pick him up.

Feet & Forks

2007-08-03T07:13:00.001-06:00

We are now, well K is now wearing his third pair of shoes since last Spring.

Three
Tres
Trois
Drei
a trí

He's averaging a new pair every 2 months! I'm glad that he's growing, but Yikes!

And now something that has absolutely nothing to do with feet:
K has made progress with eating with a fork. He's not graceful with it, but he can get it to his mouth onces the food ~~has been prodded, poked, stabbed~~ is on it.

Every day is something new and it blows my mind how much he picks up.
Of course, there are other things that he's still working on like putting the rings back on his ring stacker and putting the shapes into his shape sorter. He can take those things apart in mere seconds, however putting them back together.....
maybe it's a boy thing?! LOL.

Fifteen All Over Again

2007-08-01T13:08:00.000-06:00

Went to the DR yesterday re: my bizarre uppper lip. He believes it's hormonal and gave me some things to try. If it doesn't clear up (or gets worse) then we take the next step which is going off the pill.

When I asked DR. F about whether I should stop taking the pill and he said: "No, that'll lead to pregnancy." He was very funny about it and we shared a little chuckle. However, my brain was yelling at him "Not if you knew my luck."

So anyway I'm 15 all over again, only instead of sporadic zits, my skin is changing color.

Dancing!

2007-07-31T10:09:00.000-06:00

Because I have nothing else to do other than take videos of my son (yeah, I know I'm slacking. It's worth it though):

I'm trying to figure out what happened to the sound in the 2nd part so for now you'll just have to enjoy it for what it is - crazy baby dancing!

First Word

2007-07-26T18:22:00.000-06:00

We think he's saying "yes", however it could be "ass". LOL.

Go Ahead

2007-07-26T09:46:00.000-06:00

Just try and get that book out of his hands. Go ahead...

Well...?

do,doodo, dooodooo...

2007-07-26T09:23:00.000-06:00

You Are 60% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Well, that would go well with this:

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

If you can read this, I can stop suddenly and sue you

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

Aren't You Dying To Know...?

2007-07-25T12:51:00.000-06:00

Of course you're not, but too bad because I'm going to tell you anyway! So There!

J and I didn't re-visit the "conversation" until bedtime. He basically conceded that we'll do whatever we need to should I go off the pill. In his own special way he let me know he'd ~~snog the day away with me~~ support my decision if I could talk to him first and not make a rash decision about the whole thing. I said I would and that I really do want to do what's best for the both of us.

So that's the anti-climatic ending. LOL. You can now go back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

More Work Avoiding Fun

2007-07-25T08:44:00.001-06:00

Got this from Em at Billy's Diary.
Have you noticed I enjoy avoiding work? :-)

You Are 72% Brutally Honest

Most of the time, you tell it like it is. Even if it's hard for people to hear.
Sometimes you hold back though, because you never want your honesty to be hurtful.

How Brutally Honest Are You?

You Passed Your Driver's Test

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct.
You're a good driver - at least, when you want to be.

Are You a Good Driver?

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others.
Your caring personality really shines through.
Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out.
But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark spots.

How's Your Karma?

The Conversation

2007-07-24T15:11:00.000-06:00

where I pull out the "it's my body and I'll do/don't do what I want with it" card.

So I had my annual womanly check up today and for the most part all is fine. However, about a month ago a lovely ~~discoloration~~ shadow has appeared over my upper lip. I've checked every day and it's not hair, it's the skin itself.
After doing some research, it could be melasma and per DR suggestions I'm going to see a dermatologist.
She did think there was a pretty good chance that it was related to my taking the pill and said that the dermatologist may recommend me stopping it. At that point, we could discuss other options.

This brings me to the conversation that rocked J and I. I filled him in on the above, including the no pill possibility and went through some other contraceptive options. His words when I mentioned going off of the pill were:
"I'm not keen on that at all."
My response:
"Well, it's my body so the choice is ultimately up to me."
(Here, Here to the feminists of the world - of which I'm not a devout member EXCEPT when it comes down to the choices made about my own body. Then, anyone with a penis better back the fuck off!)

NOW - I'm in no hurry to get pregnant again any time soon, HOWEVER I'm not going to walk around with this fucking shadow on my face making me look like I either a)haven't washed my face in a year or b)like I'm growing a damn mushtache!
It's enough that I'm struggling to loose the remaining 20 lbs of weight gained with K, I don't need to have this battering my ego every time I look in the fucking mirror. I get enough of that just putting on my size (don't you dare ask) clothes in the morning. Hell, I can't even bare to go shopping anymore.

So anyway, this will be a pretty big bump for us. I just know it.

Part of what sucks is how much I WENT THROUGH when I came off the pill the first time to get pregnant w/K. It took 6 fucking months to get a period, god-knows-how-many-fucking-tests & DR appointments to determine that no one had a clue why it was taking so long to simply get a period, much less what would happen if I did get pregnant, meanwhile fucktards like Britney Spears were popping kids out like Pez Candy.

So, yeah...here's to a tension-filled evening. I can't fucking wait...(snark).

TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

2007-07-23T07:26:00.000-06:00

I Am Coming For To Find You Kitty!

2007-07-22T19:24:00.000-06:00

There is no safe place for our cats to hide anymore! LOL.

E-V-I-L

2007-07-20T15:14:00.000-06:00

You Are 66% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

WOW! I've improved over the 50% from last year. :-P
(can you tell I'm just biding my time until I can leave work for the weekend?!)

When Do I Get It?

2007-07-19T08:49:00.000-06:00

Toddler-eese, that is? B at daycare says that K can say truck, bird and almost thank you.
Wanna know what I hear?
dduuuh-AT
sssssss
uck
grrr
bbbbbllll (think blowing a raspberry with LOTS of slobber)
akk
ooo-U

I've no idea if he really is saying stuff (in which case am I bad mom because I can't understand a single thing he's saying?) or is it a big fake-out and the jokes on me?
Yeah, I wish I could say I wasn't feeling a bit jealous of all the talking toddlers out there.

Oh, and if you're keeping track...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Day 6!
Part-timer called off again today. She better look like hell if she ever comes back to work after being "sick". If she doesn't...well, she will when I get done with her.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ok, I can't do anything physically to her BUT(!!!) I can give a mean stink-eye!

Welcome Back!

2007-07-18T09:57:00.000-06:00

I'm back one day and am greeted w/ the part timer calling in "sick" today. Have you been keeping track boys and girls? That adds up to 4 - FOUR MOTHERFUCKING DAYS - that she's called off in 5 weeks and lest we not forget the day she was 2.5 hours late.

Do people not have a fucking work ethic anymore? Good god, give me the 80's "me generation" when everyone went to work every day (albeit to stab co-workers in the back, take over their job and go after the next position in the heirarchy). Hey, at least they went to work!

So, more of the same. I'm still pursuing other options but no bites yet on the 15 I've sent out so far.

Surprisingly, I'm in an "okay" mood about it. However, if this keeps up it won't be for long.

A L M O S T There!

2007-07-12T11:42:00.000-06:00

In just over 3 hours, I will be leaving work for the day and be taking a mini "vacation" until next Tuesday.

I will be grateful for caller ID on my phone because if I see any number I don't recognize I will be ingoring it! I don't give a flying f**k what they need or think they need. They have 3 hours to get it to me. After that, p*ss off!

Hmmm, PG Huh

2007-07-11T13:23:00.000-06:00

Interesting.
Especially since last week the rating was a big, fat R. LOL.
I'm going to have to try harder...

What Would Joe Friday Do?

2007-07-10T06:42:00.000-06:00

If there's ever been a time for "just the facts, ma'am", it's this morning.
My boss and I are going to have a "talk". I've a full page of stuff that's been bothering me, most of it centering around the fact that all I hear about are the things I do wrong, which leads to no one noticing the things I do right which makes me feel unappreciated.

I've lost my temper quite a bit since 1st Part timer quite w/no notice and I've had to pick up the pieces. Mostly because I feel bullied by the Reps and again, that makes me feel like nothing I do is good enough.

I'm going to try and put on my best Joe Friday because the last thing I need to do is break down in front of my boss. It's going to be difficult because my emotions have reached their boiling point.

I don't want to lose my job, even if it does stink of manure. I want to leave on my terms.

I'm still looking for other options. I've sent out close to 10 resumes so we'll see what happens.

UPDATE
So we had our talk and it went ok. I told B that while I understand salesmen get caught up in their work and don't give a rat's ass about what I have going on, it IS a 2-way street and if the reps want me to do this and that, they need to be more understanding. She agreed and said that she would say something to them.
We went back and forth with a couple things and managed to get on the same page, for the most part. I'll spare you the lengthy details but I made it clear that every once and a while it would be nice to get a sincere compliment (or some kind of positive recognition) for all that I have accomplished. It'd be a lot better than hearing all of the negative shit.

So, we'll see what happens. I don't feel my job is in imminent jeopardy, which has calmed me down. Mainly because I don't have anything else lined up. Nothing like feeling like a total loser if I were to get canned!
I also kept myself together during the talk. I could feel it brewing at the beginning, but I kept in control and got everything out.

Options are still out there, though. I'm not going to quit seeing what other opportunities are out there.

Bottle Free!

2007-07-09T09:18:00.000-06:00

We are officially bottle free. Well, K is anyway.
The daytime bottles were "taken away" at the beginning of May and we chose the weaning option for getting him off his night time bottle while still giving him time to get better with drinking from the sippy cup.
As of Saturday night, he has been finished w/them and didn't seem to notice! As long as he gets his cup of milk before bed, he's good!

That's probably been the easiest transition we've had with him.

If Only

2007-07-07T07:24:00.000-06:00

The teachers I had would've let us read stuff like this! It's surreal, twisted and intense. This is the stuff I wish I could've learned in school. I might've done better...well, not in gym. I still would've skipped that class.

Owl Creek Bridge
More Owl Creek Bridge

On A Happier Note

2007-07-06T12:52:00.000-06:00

K's 1st Fireworks:

K's 1st Piano Lesson

At times...

2007-07-05T09:51:00.000-06:00

When I'm at work, I'd have more fun jabbing a fork in my eye.

Part-timer called in sick again. She's been here not quite 4 weeks and been gone 3 days already. I wonder why they bother? I wonder why I bother? I wish I could just not care.

I'm looking for other things to occupy my time while biting my tongue to not say something that'll get me in trouble. That's difficult to do when I'm already worked up from having extra stuff to do from part-timer's desk as well as my own.

I want to scream at the world for not allowing things to work out so that I could be a stay-at-home mom and F*** this place AND I want to scream at myself for allowing me to get literally stuck in a position I can never truly leave without completely leaving the company. The wages are good here, my hours are good, my boss has been understanding if I need to go to a DR appt for JuniorMint or PapaMint. It's like they always say, don't get too good at your job or you'll never get a promotion because the boss won't want to replace you. Well, that seems to be where I'm at. I got "promoted" last Fall to be the President's and Vice President's assistant, problem is I've been busy picking up the slack from the part-time position. I will never get a true promotion here and thus the proverbial rut I am stuck in.
I don't know that anywhere else will be as "understanding" of family, DR visits, pay as well or offer the hours I have. Maybe they will, or maybe it will be worse. I'm afraid of the worse and that is why I've been dilly-dallying about pursuing other options.

I'm here because I fear and I've screwed myself.

On that note, back to jabbing a fork in my eye.

Gimme a B, Gimme a R, Gimme an A, Gimme a T

2007-07-03T07:04:00.000-06:00

Here a brat, there a brat...

everywhere a brat, brat...

This is how a local grocery store decided to promote a sale on bratwurst sausages. Good one...(snark)

Do You Wanna Wrastle?

2007-07-02T15:15:00.000-06:00

I think we're very close to finding out the culprit of JuniorMint's tantrums. I think.

There were 2 times over the weekend where he was thisclose to doing the "fainting goat". I stopped what I was doing, got down on the floor and quasi-wrestled w/him. Then I'd quasi-pin him down and tickle the living hell out of him. Within a minute, his whining turned into laughing and big smiles.

Seems that a)He needs attention. Not that we ignore him, but perhaps the separation anxiety is really taking it's toll on him and causing him to be really clingy.
and b)I have a boy - boys like to "wrastle", jump around and bang on things.

I've so much to learn! LOL!

Ok, You're So F-in Smart...

2007-06-29T14:03:00.000-06:00

These are the questions spinning through my head, making me dizzy and ready to toss my cookies into the next county:

How do I contain a 14 month old's temper tantrums when all he does is scream/whine and flop backwards like a fainting goat?

When am I going to understand before-mentioned 14 month old who still speaks in toddler babble?

Can I get a babelfish for the 14 month old, PLEASE?

Does anti-war equal anti-military (more on this when I have more time to post)?

Do the WW gods think they could reward me by making my weigh-in really awesome? I did get up at 5 AM all week and ride the stationary bike for 25 minutes!

Did I mention 5 AM EVERYDAY THIS WEEK?!

Leftovers

2007-06-26T19:13:00.000-06:00

Wanna know a super quick way to rid the fridge of leftovers?
Are you ready for it?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Have the fridge get stuck in defrost mode for the better portion of the day!
Leftovers? HA! What leftovers?!

Of course, times like these make me very grateful we live in an apartment. If WE had to pay for an after-hours call and replacement parts - well, the "Mint" household would be quite unhappy.

Farther & Farther Away From the Baby Aisle

2007-06-25T06:34:00.000-06:00

JuniorMint and I were on our way to daycare this morning and as I looked back at him it seemed that he grew overnight. He looks more like a little boy and every day it seems the "infant" stage is quickly passing us by.
Here he is, hanging out by the pool. My young boy instead of little infant:

I'm excited for the next stage and all of the things that he will learn. At the same time, I know I'm going to miss buying little clothes and teddy bears.

HA! I did it again...

2007-06-22T06:32:00.000-06:00

She's a rebel
She's a saint
She's salt of the earth
And she's dangerous
green day - she's a rebel

I moved JuniorMint's highchair next to me in the Kitchen and cleaned sippy cups this morning while he finished eating!

Violet, You're Turning Violet!

2007-06-21T06:50:00.000-06:00

There are times when it makes complete sense to run back to the mid 90's.

I was THAT person this morning - jamming in my car, stereo cranked up high enough to make the sound distort (well, pretty damn close to that anyway), singing my heart out and not giving a goddamn! Courtney Love and Hole were putting me in the best "F-U" mood ever! Follow it up with Green Day and the "anti-establishment" roar has begun!

So what spurred me into this? Yesterday morning I couldn't have told you, last week, 2 months ago...nope, I didn't have a damn clue. Just before ~~oh my god it's only 9:30!~~ bedtime I'd been thinking of why I haven't been able to stick to the Weight Watcher plan as well as I did the first time, why I second guess 75% of the things I do with JuniorMint and a handful of other things. The top two are WW and JuniorMint.

I've come to determine that I've been too focused on achieving things because of what other people will think of me or what they expect of me. This got me in "trouble" in college and it seems to be leading me down the same path again.
I'll save you all the gory details but suffice it to say that I realized the first time I did WW I was doing it to see if I could. There was a bit of competition between me and another person but hell, I don't see her at all anymore so that "edge" has died. I didn't do it for anyone else but me. That changed after JuniorMint was born because people are watching me to see if I loose the remaining weight. I feel judged by them and therefore have to prove something to them.
THAT has been my problem.

The second thing has been JuniorMint. Again, I feel judged by people when I do certain things and have been second guessing myself on most of the things I do with him. None of them are bad but just different. Mainly, the difference in age between me and my boss and how she raised her kids and versus how people raise them now (ie - how I raise my son, how C-Mint raises her daughter, how D-Mint raises her son).
Here's an example:
Boss is in her late 50's. That's just for a point of reference. She has 3 grandsons and this will reference the middle one, B. She believes that he doesn't eat well because mom needs to sit at the table and wait for him to finish. B eats just fine when Boss is over and sits at the table with him until he finishes. Boss doesn't approve of mom running around cleaning up or going through papers while waiting for B to finish eating. She thinks all parents need to sit down and wait.
This is also the lady that gave B's mom a hard time for breastfeeding thier newest son for 8 weeks. She thought the mom should just get it over with. NICE!

Up until this morning, I thought that made sense and waited it out with JuniorMint. It does make sense to keep them company if everyone else has finished, however if they see everyone else getting to play, etc and they're at the table alone then maybe it will urge them to finish eating. I can see it both ways however I am not going to be ruled by them.
This morning, I ate breakfast with JuniorMint and waited about 5 minutes after I was done for him to finish. Then, I put the high chair with him in it in the Kitchen next to me and proceeded to clean some of the sippy cups, clear off the counter and put some stuff away. I talked to him as I did it all so he didn't feel "out of place".
Oh The Humanity! The Scandal! OOOOOOOO...

(see, I have a bit of rebellion left in me after all-LOL!)