white-out

it’s snowing. a thin blanket has been draped over the roads, on top of cars, across people’s shoulders.......there is a quietness that holds hands with each snowflake. a terrible thing has happened, and while men and women search to understand, the snow falls... and falls... and falls... in the recess of my mind I’d like to think the snow offers comfort. brings us in close, like a mother with child, hushing our panicked breaths and rapidly beating hearts. in other places, I hope it serves as white-out. zero visibility of a senselessness act. much like rain washes away dirt and grime, let the snow “hide the sharp edges of reality.” I don’t want to remember the violence here and yet I can’t avoid it. it’s like a sock clinging to the cuffs of my pants with static electricity. no matter how much I shake, rattle and roll, the damn thing just won’t go away. “Remember, remember the 5th of my December” taunts me. I don’t want to look it in the eye and acknowledge it and yet, I must so that every hug, every kiss, every tuck into bed at night, every “I love you”…… they must be stronger and much, much…………so much more meaningful.

done out of love

"it's done out of love." J says after letting a fart rip. "um, hmm." I respond...and then let out my own in retaliation. have you guessed what this post is about?! well, sillies, it's about love... . . . . . . . . . . okay, okay...it's about farting. but don't blame me for such a base (7) topic. J at o the joys started it! I read her post this morning and had a "head smack" epiphany that is worthy of being a grant covered study. seems that love doesn't have anything to do with flowers, candy and jewelry. "what?" you say yes, yes, true love seems to be more about whether or not you and your significant other will fart in front of each other or suffer the mighty inconvience (and gutteral pain, I might add) of holding afore mentioned fart in. so there you have it! weren't you just dying to know the secret! celion dion be damned, gimme some tenacious d! now if you'll excuse me, I have some love to share...if only I could find that can of beans...

can I get a "woot, woot"!

"Now is the winter of our discontent." - William Shakespeare I know I said I was going to lay off on posting about work, but I have some decent news. Actually, nothing changes for me really. But there is a certain co-worker of mine, Receptionist R, who has "high and mighty" tendancies that coincide with her never being wrong, of course. Anyway, Miss H & M gets to be in charge when Killjoy isn't here, as Killjoy's responsibilities now include managing certain aspects of the branch offices. R also has increased tasks to go along with her H & M-ness. Why does this thrill me? Because: a) My job doesn't change. Not to mention I get to keep my job. There've been many sudden changes here so that was a concern. Even though I'm not overly happy to be here, I still need a job. b) If the shit hits the fan while R is in charge, it comes down on her! c) R doesn't handle conflict well and gets tense easily, throw in her hatred at being wrong at anything (which she'll deny anyway) and there is potential for a breakdown Britney Spears style! d) Last week, in her H & M-ness, R sent out an email stating that I'd only be doing commercial proposals and part-timer would take over the residential ones. Well today, that got reversed by Killjoy! Toss in the fact that R has to send out another email stating that her changes have been nixed and it is going back to the way it was and all I wanted to do was shout at R to get off her high horse, kiss my ass and flip her the bird! Now, go read this post from earlier! It's my first attempt at being slightly creative and "wordsmithy", which I've been lacking at for quite some time. After all, I could've just said I watched snow fall and got all emotional.(snark)

Wintery-ness

"You can't get too much winter in the winter." - Robert Frost I heard cautious (and slightly panicked) voices declare that it was snowing. Making an excuse to get up from my desk, I walked to another department and through their picture windows, watched the whiteness fall. Many different feelings passed through me as I studied the fine layer of snow covering the cars in the parking lot. Excitement, this is the earliest it's snowed here in a very long time. Apprehension, what will the drive home be like today (and all the days to come during the season). Pairs of feelings hold hands and come to join me at the window. Wonder and Adventure, this will be the first year that K will be able to play in the snow. Comfort and Fear, I like watching the snow fall while wrapped up in a blanket at home and I fear what it will be like when I do have to deal with it. So it begins, the winter season. I acknowledge it with a nod and a handshake, because in a few months I'll want to give it a swift uppercut and tell it to go away.

looking for words

do you ever go through times when you're stuck for something to say? or if you do have something, it's usually the same thing over and over - like a broken record? that's how I've felt lately. it's not that I don't have anything to talk about. heck, spend more than 15 minutes with me and get through a few "hmm's" and "ahhh's" and you'll discover that I have a lot to say. however, seems like all I've been doing here is complaining, about work specifically. granted, work is pretty lame right now. it's become something I deal with for the sake of my family. I'm reminded of this quote: "one can tolerate demons for the sake of an angel." the demon being work and the angel(s) being J and K. so that's what I've been doing, tolerating. however it's also caused me to not be that into writing which leads to long gaps between posts. thing is, I don't want to bitch about work anymore. I don't really want to bitch about anything but I'm human so that is a lofty expectation and not one I can commit to. not to mention, how many posts can you really stand to read about my work?! so I'm working on finding things to write about. I used to write all the time but various things have distracted me from it over the years. if anyone has ideas on how/where to start I could use some suggestions. don't worry, there will still be cute posts about K. he is, of course, numero uno in the family here (much to our cats' dismay).